| I hate nostalgia. |
[Nov. 6th, 2009|05:23 pm] |
Nostalgia makes me so uneasy. Probably because I feel like I'm living in the past whenever I feel it coming on. But right now.. I am nostalgic for every moment in my life that has passed.
I miss Americorps - all of it, all the people I met, all the random places I lived, my tent that flooded in Mississippi, planting thousands of trees, disaster relief in Texas, Katrina relief in New Orleans, the french quarter, the massive van, our cement block cabin in the Appalacian mountains, the thunderstorms that seemed to follow us around the country, Maryland! Beautiful Perry point Maryland where everything was surreal, and beautiful. SLDPs, SLIs, ISPs, New England in the fall.. the most beautiful thing i've ever seen, fleeting "Ameri-Romances", adding "ameri-" on to EVERYTHING POSSIBLE, trips to NYC, 98 degree heat every day all day all summer while doing construction work.. no AC. I miss it all.
I miss Seattle - The grill, the hill, Christina Corvins beautiful passionate way of speaking, Highschool theatre.. and the anticipation leading up to the cast list being posted! Remember that!? Good greif.. my life revolved around those cast lists, Weekends in Everett with Crystal playing fuzion frenzy & being secretly in love with Kenny, Big Momma and little D and their skinny dipping adventures, Adoring Brandon Philips as a little freshman, being awkward, Tony & Floor candy, Mr Klem, Ms Garrison, hours and hours and hours of phone conversations with crystal,Les Miserables, "Drowning in the lake of James", Allison and I being wives, Blakely/Katie/Christy trio during senior year, Blakely and I LIVING in MC8.. i'm serious. Klem would have us lock up because he'd go home before us, crushing on Andrew Wilcox, Capitol Hill, "Going out sexually", Dan dan the piano man, the famous December 16th, 2004 at pottery barn, Working at Starbucks with Dan, sort of dating dan for like 7-8 months haha, DENNYS ALL THE TIME, rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain. Rain.
Hair cast - taking the bus to rehearsals, curling my hair every day, "Walt", Finding out that Walt's name was really William, learning that beautiful music, getting totally into the 1960s hippie lifestyle, debating wether or not to do AmeriCorps, Working at the movie theatre and seeing free movies every night with William Crystal and Dan plus the rest of the Hair cast, cast parties!, dancing like a hippie, "Walking in Space" x10000. That was one of my most favorite scenes to do ever, actually tricking myself into thinking Will was straight!
.. btw, the entire hair cast has been feeling nostalgic these days. We've been texting/making hair related facebook status updates for the last few days.. so random how we all started missing "The Tribe" at the same time
Back to the 80s Cast - going out EVERY night after rehearsals.. i'm serious.. every. single. night. all summer. Lisette & Nathans parties!, Spin the bottle, Jon's Party where the cast officially became inseperable, the Jessica/Jozef/Jon/Christy weekends where we wouldnt leave each others sides every performance weekend and traveled around in Jons big van.. we were gypsies, the skinny dipping night, the 24 hours that were my 21st birthday/closing night, Driving to rehearsal with my Twin!, hating my life on the weekends because of choreography, having rehearsal 7 days a week all summer long.. loved it! Putting on a pretty gosh darn awesome show.. yes!
I think writing all that out was a good idea. Now i dont feel so nostalgic, but happy that
even though I freak out and have panic attacks and never feel like I am living up to my full potential..
I have lived a wonderful, beautiful life so far.
Filled with wonderful beautiful people.
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